man....... jus completed a 3 day 72 hr shift... didn't get any decent sleep, can't sleep, not cos i cannot as in 'cannot' fall asleep... but i cannot 'afford to kinda' sleep... had to take charge tog wif my boss... managed to get a 24hr off before i return for another gawd-knows-how-many days shift. kinda refreshed after a long sleep the moment i got back this morn.
*shit... got the flu... must be cos of the crazy weather at jurong island*
anyway the past 3 days were quite routine, only exception was the eh... happy-family-countdown cum bbq at jurong island... haha yeaps, the last 2 days of 2004 were spent there, together wif my men, we spent out last few mins of 2004 n first few mins of 2005 defending our little island from mr. osama n his hench men. happening sia...!!!
so there goes another yr... but overall 2004 was quite a havoc year for me... emotional roller coasters aside, there were the doses of mental stresses that was dished out by the pot-ful... floods of assignments, last min arrows, change of plans, work work work.
but not to forget are my 35 men that trained under and wif me, the bunch of 35 men, who entere, all blur as hell, all sua ku n sian-diaoz abt army. i've watched them grow n develop. managed to see these guys come of age to finally turn ops, the soldiers that are at this very moment in time, defending vital installations in singapore. i'm mighty proud of these guys, n looking at them, i dun regret having gone through all those shit..
another group of ppl that lived thru it wif me are my fellow pcs n my specialists... to my pcs i can only say that when the shit hits the fan, i confident that we all still be standing under it. these band of brothers.
not to forget the great moment in time when all of us were commissioned by president nathan in january, n the congrats n comments of how great a parade it was, the 2 weeks of effort n the cracked heel definitely paid off!!!
Frens...
think i've grown kinda a bit, not jus in my waistline, not jus in height, but thanks to everything that happene, i've grown abit more... more in my head i guess, not the size. no, i dun wanna become a big head arrogant freak, nor a pig head for that matter.
i guess i've come to understand some thinkgs in life will not stay the things they hv been, humans are mighty dynamic, relations can change drastically, n i guess another learning pt is not to push my point forward too much, for it'll strain some relations along the way... n these things never heal completely, it's always too late for regrets, but its never too late to try n change, or at least be aware of our actions.
n i guess i should be moving on, holding desperately to past frens may not be the best method, unless the ship wanna stay in ur port, if they wanna depart, i guess even Mr Incredible can't hold them back. n we SHOULDN"T hold them back.
no, i'm not saying i'll be heartless, i wanna hold all the frens i've come to appreciate close to me, but physicaly, we may never see each other again, or jus the occassional word, but i can nv forget the days spent wif these frens, n the memories that came wif them shall stay wif me till my memory fade. to these frens, pls know that my heart aches in being unable to keep in regular touch wif ya all, be it due to whatever circumstances.
its hurts. it really hurts.
to these frens that i've come to regard as closed ones, thank you once again. i look forward to the day our paths cross once again n we may work or play or jus gather together.
was jus thinking to myself,
am i too nice? no, not as in the sweet type, but am i too forgiving? am i too mr. OK? am i too "haha-ish" not because it ain't good to laugh, but am i taken seriously at times???
am i too nice??? had some episodes this year, n conclusion from chun siang n the my other pc brothers was that
"the guys are naughty, n the guys will like it even more"?!?!? (nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai hahaha...) so wad now? haiz, jus the thought can kinda bring me down...
so wish that i can hv an affirmation of some sorts...
the world is so big, where is the one? do u believe in the one? really hope to meet my one soon... yeah. nuts.
then again, on a brighter note, this yr has brought to me many new frens, ppl that i would hv not known but some strange twist of fate brought us together, suffering n laughing all the same time. unexpected frens would definitely hv to be the ones i've got at CTC n AIOC... haha really had a blast during those fun 10 weeks, thanks guys. n come to madea few frens that i really wanna still keep in touch for a long time to come. but it'll take effort from both sides, yeah, i'll keep trying!
finally let me try to remember as many ppl that i wish to acknowledge for that year 2004, yes, its "THAT" year already, time to move on after this post. the present is where we are living in. the present is what we can change, the present is for our taking.
thanks to all these great dudes n dudettes (got such a word???):
chun siang, seng poh, jaemes, shiaw long, kian sin, jun hua, helmi, these solid c coy brother in arms...
the entire F wing, i dun wanna flood my post, but u guys made helluva diff to me man..
gabriel buddy, han wei, all the kelvins, wei qi, benedict, liang han, samuel, haresh, shawn, vincent ha, jem, kai yuan, wei bin, ben soh, shi hao, clement, ao zhi blah blah blah, the plt 2 folks.
terence, yeen teck, an liang, ben wong, ben wong, kai xiang, nizam, wei hao, edwin, j j, kuek, alfred, indren, the wonderful ctc buddies that made the course all so fun n non the stresses
the c coy specs n my pt specs all for always understanding me n helping me to deal wif the problems n our men.
c coy plt 7, the wonder bunch of 28 guys that i've the honour to play a part in the 1 yr u guys had been wif me.
the njc fellas that we've all kept in touch n crap tog, zhi hao, jin hui, beng keong, beng chuan, raymond, steven wong. xin yi, dorlisa, shiwei, serina, for jus being urself n the times n chats we've had. thks. =P
to these guys i must say, let 2005 be a clean slate for any of our mis-doings, i hope we will erase all of our past nasty deeds we've done to each other, n let 2005 be a fresh start, it's imposible to forget, but lets forgive each other.
there must be some more out there that is not in this list, yeah i know, cos i still hv some names i've not listed, but this post is getting way too long n way to crazy to write any further
but in a sentence, 2004 had been another yr filled wif its regular required dosages of ups n downs, n its extra dosages of sadness n happiness, not to mention alot more mud flinging around.
yeah, thats it, the yr is closed, move on ghim song. move on. remember to change for the better.
there is so much more to anticipate in this coming yr... hope my wishes do come true!!!
Peace.
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